i love that you’re the last person i see at night
and the first person i see in the morning
i love that you’re used to my sporadic snoring
i love that you laugh and give me side eye
every time i say, “i can’t help that my throat is just gargling air”
i love that you don't realize you snore louder
​and more often than i do
i love our ritual morning sex
each time feels like the first time
and always better than the last
i love how you explore my body
and the way you make me feel
i love cooking you breakfast
cheese omelet with tomatoes, mushrooms, kale or spinach
and a dash of black pepper and salt
pancakes and some fruit
i love when you make me coffee
you know just how to make it
half coffee, half french vanilla cappuccino
i call it “coffee-cino”  
i love that you know what i like
listening to Marvin Gaye, reading autobiographies, 
Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream, spa mani-pedi’s
deep conversations, religiously spiritual meditations
the meaning of life, universe talk
why are we here, dreams and aspirations
we talk about everything
from politics to sports to music to culture to race relations in america
to God to relationships to love to our wants and needs
to our future to what’s for dinner
to everything
i love that you support my career
every day, you want to hear how my day went
you’re so encouraging
and i want to hear how your day went, too
your highs and your lows
i love that i'm the first person 
you want to share your good news with
i love that you're family oriented 
and everyone comes to you for sound advice
i love that you're boardroom intelligent and street smart
i love that you understand and can detect my moods
you know just what to say when i’m feeling happy, sad, frustrated or bitchy
you recognize the full spectrum of  my lioness emotions
i love that you have an even keel personality
and you know how to balance my energies when I'm having difficulty 
i love that you know when not to talk to me
during shondaland thursdays unless it’s a commercial break
you know i don’t want to miss a single detail
i love that you give me foot rubs when i’ve worn heels all day
i love when you give me backrubs or full body massages 
that fully relaxes me and almost puts me to sleep
and i don’t have to ask
i love that you push me to challenge myself 
when we exercise together even when i talk shit
i love watching scary movies with you
and the way you hold me and rub my arms
when i jump in fright
or how you kiss me on my forehead or shoulder
and play in my hair during romantic flicks
i love your sense of humor
hilarious, sarcastic, corny at times
i love when we're being silly with each other
and how we both can take each other's jokes without offense
i love that we can share comfortable moments of silence
sometimes we don’t need to speak
but we fully feel each other’s vibes 
especially when we lock eyes 
and our facial expressions say it all
i love our make-up sex after we argue
intense, passionate, intoxicating, fulfilling
what were we fighting about?
i love lying on your chest and hearing your heart beat
your strong arms wrapping me in your warm embrace
and i can smell the scent of your magnetizing cologne
i love your commanding presence when you enter a room
i love the undeniable swagger in your walk
i love your sunny smile
your piercing, bedroom eyes
your chiseled back and abs
i love how you can wear the hell out of a suit 
and still look sexy in a fitted cap and sneakers
i love how you express yourself
i love your brutal honesty and sincere loyalty
i love your commitment to us
i love how you strive to make me happy
i love how you care for me
i love how you love me
I love how you love God
i love you…

i fell in love
right there, while we stood in the bathroom
together
brushing our teeth
i saw a lifetime of mornings
each day better than the day before
i felt real, true love
 
he spat, i spat
we brushed
 
i fell in love
it was clear to me
as clear as anything has ever been
i talked to God about him
my spirit knew
my soul felt the destined connection
God said, "it's him"
my heart is pounding
my mind is racing as i try not to swallow 
a mouth full of fluoride 
my eyes smiled at him while i watched him brush
his teeth, tongue and gums
he looked back at me with the same exact vibe
 
i spat, he spat
we brushed
 
i thought
should i tell him right now?
over this white sink
full of our saliva
mixed with Crest Pro-Health Advanced toothpaste
that i’ve fallen in love with you
that you’re the one for me
that I want to be with you for a lifetime
and the next…
 
he spat, i spat

he handed me the mint waxed dental floss, and I snapped off a length
i handed the floss back to him, and he did the same
and we flossed
we Reach
have we reached?
 
i thought
should i tell him first?
should i wait?
i really wanted him to tell me first
does it really matter?
yes.
no.
maybe…
yes.
what was i going to do?
when is it the right time?
 
we finished flossing
and gargled with Listerine Total Care mouthwash

i spat, he spat

​he rinsed the sink
then he gazed at me for a few seconds
leaned in to kiss me
and said with a slightly nervous yet assured breath

i’m in love with you…

every life is a masterpiece
we spend our entire journey
mastering pieces of our own unique existence
attempting to figure out our puzzle's path 
connecting distant sections of ourselves
one by one
trying to make our lives look like
the perfect picture on the box we came in
we lose patience  to see that vision
the complete image we know is possible 
instead of fully comprehending each piece as it is laid
how one connects with the whole
some portions are easier to link than others
and there's always that one piece
that you think is missing
but it's there, you just have to look harder to find it
you are complete
you are whole
you are enough

historically, no
journalistic honesty 
conveys white terror

Bear River, Wounded
Knee, East St. Louis, Tulsa
deadliest white sprees

historical con-
text isn't complex, speak truth
white men always been 

killers with a pass
their race protects them, helps them 
mask their acts of hate

a lone wolf shooter
mentally unstable man
no terrorist ties

it's happened again 
too soon to talk gun control 
second amendment 

rights and protection 
nothing will change, they'll just send
internet prayers